i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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