he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
