i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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