then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
