no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
