who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
