The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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