so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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