Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize