he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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