i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize