3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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