How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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