she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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