he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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