Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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