so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
