i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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