he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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