i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
