we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
