Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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