btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
