it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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