come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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