So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
