New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
