We're like a lot better than the average bears
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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