i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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