My balls are so social today.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
