I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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