i think my tv is drunk
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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