i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize