do herpes really smell.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
