just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
