dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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