Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
