she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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