Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
