sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
