He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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