u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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