living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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