his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
