someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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