i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
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Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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