Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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