apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drunk is not a location!
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