this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
