He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
