And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
