So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just had sex bonerless
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
