a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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