I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i think im in europe. pls send help
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
