is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize