dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
