I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
