I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
