How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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