i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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