There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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