She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
