But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
