I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
