Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
