apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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