Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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