do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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